"You're really pretty, you know?"

Flourish drawing, Kiko Mizuhara, flowers and office space by Oh So Simple

I am completely in love with Kiko Mizuhara's face...she's beautiful! It's awful to know that she's my age because I can't excuse myself for not looking that pretty, yet. ha! Makes me crave a short haircut but I know that by chopping off hair I won't magically turn into her. Or will I?

I had a 'pretty' weekend. I honestly can't remember the last time I heard so many compliments in such a short amount of time. On Saturday, I had a coworker say, "Thank you, beautiful." Just darling! I almost never hear that one simply because I find it so important a word. I usually don't like hearing it because it is on par with "you're perfect," which just sounds ridiculous most of the time. In this instance, it was actually kind of nice and genuine and not weighted as heavily as I imagine it to be. Then, in that same shift at work I heard, "you're really pretty, you know?" in passing. I turned around to the guy that said it only to give him this ugly twisted expression I'm akin to. It was a weird experience to hear that so directly and so I took that compliment as gracefully as I know how...that is to say not gracefully at all. My face did not reflect how nice it was to hear, at all. Sweet.

On the following day, I was putting on makeup at my friend's place. We were discussing my "mismatch" eye makeup. (He was referring to my black mascara and occasional black winged eyeliner in contrast with my natural blonde hair) This morning in particular I was only applying mascara but I still felt the need to defend my love of eyeliner, and I told him it made me feel pretty. His reply was "you're already pretty." Well, shucks! That didn't stop me from throwing on whatever I could manage in a rush to head out the door. I THEN got to work, knowing full well that my hair hadn't been washed for a day and my makeup was done swiftly and in poor light yet my roommate who was just ending her shift at work went out of her way to come tell me my makeup looked really pretty. I almost felt like she was making fun of me because I was so hyper-aware of the morning-after face paint I was sporting that day. She claims her remark was genuine so I took it for what it was and went on my ding dong diddly day.

It's strange to have two days back to back, one where you are trying to look nice, and one where you are trying to just not look as bad, and receive equally wonderful remarks.

Maybe it was really just my personality shining out mah faceeee.


But speaking of pretty! I took my first set of headshots for my friend, Francesca. It was cool to officially whip out the 50mm lens. Here are a couple of my favorites! <3

k bai

Que Sera, Sera

"You can close your eyes to the things you do not want to see, but you cannot close your heart to the things you do not want to feel." -Johnny Depp

           Lately my days have been filled with distraction and advice. Of course I'm much too far-gone to really apply said advice but it's still refreshing to know what it is I need to do should I suddenly sprout the courage to make it happen. I came upon this video after a friend shared it on facebook. Although not completely similar to my situation, it's still somewhat relevant...and inspiring. I've been having many-a-night where it seems I won't ever get to sleep because everything hurts (darn you, emotions) and there's no hope left for me to be happy with someone else. I am choosing to leave this here to remind me that there is something better waiting for me. There has to be.

On a lighter note, my hair is looking looong these days. ;)

Some day I'll have a kick-ass webcam........some day.

I am going into my third week of school and it's feeling pretty all right so far. Applying for jobssss, having dance rehearsallllls...the usual shtuff. I planned on writing some really worthwhile post today but I am feeling a little icky and should probably put some food in my stomach and then get to bed. And by get to bed I mean watch some cartoons. Lately it's been Kimi ni Todoke...because it makes me smile. :)

Kimi ni Todoke, 2009

Almost there

I took this photo from my car the other day because it was just so lovely. Not that sunsets are summer-specific (they do happen every day, I am aware) but this one was sentimental as I know my summer break is coming to an end. One more week and I'll be back at school! I'd be lying to say I wasn't actually excited to get back. Since I wasn't working for most of this summer break I didn't have nearly enough to fill my days. I finished a book, a couple mangas and plenty of anime series (don't make me list them, the number would embarrass me). It was nice to have the time to myself, though. Got to work on my tan! It'll be refreshing to be busy again. Plus I am super excited to start dance rehearsals for both the school's modern dance company and the student work I've been recruited for. Going to be an awesome semester! :)

Second Wind

Holly Sharpe drawing, Lemony Snicket quote, kitty pattern, Refinery 29 hairstyle

I've been itching to do something. I keep hoping that school will suddenly blossom me into some phenomenal artist but I'm starting to realize that's not going to happen. My time ought to be spent bettering myself outside of class. That's what I've been doing all my life anyhow! I've been going to school for as long as I can remember but the only time I really do any learning is when I teach myself. When I explain this to others I always refer back to my first bicycle lesson without training wheels. I can't remember how long my dad spent trying to push me along the street...it didn't matter, I fell over every time. I worked at it on my own later and before long I was cruising like the best of 'em. That's just how it worked. If I wanted to learn something new I would make it happen by myself. The internet has been the greatest provider of free information!

What I realize is I need to go out and do. I can't sit idly by while my time at school dwindles down and expect to be ready for whatever pile of crap awaits me post-graduation. Just going to school will not be enough. I need to take it upon myself to learn what I'll need to know for this field. I already have a pretty good start- I've been designing since I was in middle school! I have always been criticized for spending too much time on the computer, especially when I was younger, but little did they know I was giving myself a head-start for what was to come (thank you, Neopets).

My only regret was not committing myself 100%. My life is plagued by doubts, and at a time when I should have stood my ground the most I faltered. With the economy, and the struggles my dad went through with work I was terrified. I didn't want that to happen to me so I tossed all desires to go into the arts. I wanted something stable, something reliable that would keep me from ever going hungry or not being able to support myself. I convinced myself that I wanted to go into the medical field and after wasting 2-3 years of my life on that idea I hit a wall. My plan was all there, but the desire wasn't. I didn't want it bad enough. The amount of time and effort didn't seem worth it at all and there was no way I was going to make it through the endless tests and applications. Fast-forward to now and I am a several years deep into my education. There has been so much stress and frustration throughout and I just know that it could have all been avoided if I'd stayed honest with myself. My dad and I were talking once about what I should do for the rest of my life and one of his best pieces of advice from his own dad was to do what you love, and the money will come. I may not have the fancy clothes or get to eat anything over $5 for a long time but it sure beats waking up in the morning and dreading the work I'll have to do for the rest of my life.

I can't wait to create.

J Pop Summit Festival 2013

I went to the J Pop Summit Festival this year! I roped Colin into going with me because I knew Ayumi Seto would be there and I was dying to see her in person. It was only fitting Colin joined me because he basically led me to her via tumblr. I loved myself a little bit less when this showed up on my dashboard one day:

http://sea-of-ether.tumblr.com/

Anyway, I became obsessed and almost cried a little at the thought of missing my chance for a photo-op. Was a great trip! Could have asked for the weather to be a leeeettle bit nicer but hey, it's San Francisco.

Set-up in the Peace Plaza of Japantown, San Francisco.

Ayumi Seto of Harajuku Kawaii!

All models for the fashion show pose with Kyary Pamyu Pamyu.

I was the only one ready for this shot with the Harajuku Kawaii! models. Oh well!